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Thursday, March 21, 2002
Silent running Thismodernworld.com is now officially off the air. We will resume regular broadcast hours early next week. Have a great weekend, everybody. (Don't forget to watch Saddle Rash on the Cartoon Network on Sunday, and let them know how much you loved it, so they'll pick up the show and help keep my friends at Flickerlab in business.)
Speaking of cartoon advocacy I guess I shouldn't let the day slip by without noting the passage of campaign finance reform, which has been, along with health care, a recurrent theme of mine over the years. Sure, this bill doesn't really go far enough, and sure, there are certainly new loopholes to slip through. But anything that Mitch McConnell and Phil Gramm are so vehemently opposed to can't be all bad. Gramm--whose forthcoming retirement may or may not have had anything to do with his ties to Enron--had this to say on the matter: "Who are we taking (political influence) away from? We are taking it away from people who are willing and able to use their money to enhance their free speech guaranteed by the Constitution." You see, money doesn't simply talk--it enhances free speech! As for McConnell--I saw him give a speech to the Christian Coalition at the Republican Convention in Philadelphia, during the course of which he explained to the crowd, "Whenever you hear the three words campaign finance reform, some liberal is trying to shut you up!" McConnell vows to keep fighting this one in the courts, such is the depth of his dedication to financially-enhanced freedom of speech.
Swingin' on the flippety-flop According to this article in the Washington Post, today's teens have incorporated the lexicon of terrorism into their hep and groovy slang vocabulary. Their bedrooms are "ground zero." Translation? A total mess. A mean teacher? He's "such a terrorist." A student is disciplined? "It was total jihad." Petty concerns? "That's so Sept. 10." And out-of-style clothes? "Is that a burqa?" It's just six months since Sept. 11, but that's enough time for the vocabulary of one of the country's most frightening days to become slang for teenagers of all backgrounds, comic relief in school hallways and hangouts. Um, maybe. But this reminds me of the time that the New York Times published a report on grunge culture, complete with a sidebar listing examples of actual grunge slang: wack slacks: old ripped jeans There was just one problem: it was all complete nonsense. The "grunge expert" the Times reporter interviewed was, how you say, playing the small prank on the paper of record. Harsh realm, cob nobbler.
And a happy good morning to you A blogger named Ted Barlow has posted a concise argument in favor of the single payer health care system, which, as long time readers are aware, I've been advocating for many years. (And our angry friend a few posts back says I never offer any solutions. You can lead a jackass to water, but you can't make him think.) * * * Conservatives were able to turn public sentiment against Clinton's health care reform plan (which was highly flawed and insurer-friendly, but that's a whole 'nuther essay) once Bill Kristol came up with the right catchphrase: there is no health care crisis. The problem with applying Big Lie tactics to something as universal as health care is that sooner or later, everyone confronts the health care system, and comes to the realization that you are so full of shit, it's oozing out your ears. I don't know if basic human decency will ever prevail on this issue, if politicians will ever see fit to put the public good ahead of their contributors' interests just this once, but I am willing to predict with complete confidence that this issue isn't going to go away, at least until some supernatural entity blesses us all with immortality and invulnerability to accident and disease. * * * Another conservative ideology-over-reality standard is global warming, as in, it doesn't exist. Well, maybe you read yesterday about that ice shelf the size of Rhode Island which melted with a rapidity that astonished even the most concerned of scientists studying this issue. (The story ran in various places, including the New York Times, but since you can't read it there without logging in, here's a link to the Guardian's version.) This is happening, and it's happening faster than anyone expected. Tip of the day: don't invest in beachfront property. * * * Okay, got to get to work on my taxes. Because I am, you know, a left winger who earns a decent living--a sure sign of my hypocrisy, as far as the various Michael Moore-bashers are concerned. If you have any critique of capitalism, then you are of course morally obliged to turn your back on it entirely, to live in a sod hut in the woods and wear clothing fashioned from scraps of rag, or perhaps woven out of your own matted and unwashed hair. Capitalism: you're either completely for it or completely against it. And if you breathe air, then shut up about the pollution already--if you don't like it, stop breathing. Same for the water you drink, or the food you eat. If you take part in the system, you have by definition embraced it, so stop whining already. -------------------- Wednesday, March 20, 2002
Saddle Rash Wanted to mention this one before I forget: there's a pilot on Cartoon Network (note--I previously misidentified the venue--it's not Comedy Central) this Sunday, the animation for which was created by Flickerlab, the studio behind my own online animation. The online project is winding down, but we've got some things we're working on, very secret and mysterious schemes I am not at liberty to divulge to you at this time, but suffice it to say, anything that keeps Flickerlab in business is good for Tom Tomorrow fans in the long run. So throw some support their way for this one, okay? Here's the information: Greetings all, "Saddle Rash" the Pilot will be airing on Sunday the 24th at 11:00PM during the Adult Swim Block on Cartoon Network. Please see the link below for our trailer. Hope you are able to watch. If you would like to send us your thoughts and / or comments, please do so here.
That didn't take long A perspective on the Chicken Hawk debate from a reader whose sympathies lie with the enlisted personnel: I'm not exactly the perfect person to speak of this (I tried my best to serve in the US Army, but a bout of asthma long-misdiagnosed killed my career before I could finish Basic Training), but it bugs the hell out of me that so many chicken hawks dictate policy. Of course, you have to remember that once they're safely too old to be drafted, they do their best to get involved with upper officers, as Newt Gingrich demonstrated with his obsession with playing "war games" as a US Rep. It's cool to be sitting with the colonels and generals while standing no chance in Hell of being shot or dismembered, but Elvis forbid that these same people should be forced to use the enlisted latrines or march 20 miles instead of being transported. I don't begrudge Al Gore his relatively cushy tour (remember that he volunteered because he didn't want any stains on his father's reputation for shielding Al Jr. from the draft, and as Tom Savini will tell you, serving as a reporter or cameraman didn't protect you from the rough stuff in Nam), but I get insanely aggravated at Dick Armey (or his son Scott, who is currently stinking up local politics north of Dallas), Phil Gramm, or even our dear President Butt-Head when they figure it's all right to send someone else to fight their battles. I guess what aggravates me more is that these dolts go directly for the command staff and neglect the grunts. I put in a bit of time. My best friend put in six years in the Navy. My brother is currently in Special Forces, and my youngest uncle is now finishing up 30 years in the Navy. Many of my good friends put in time in all of the branches of the Armed Forces, and the only officer in the lot is a geologist with the Army Corps of Engineers. (The only officer in my family in decades was Ulysses Grant, and he needed family connections to get anywhere because he was no damn good at anything other than fighting.) The grunts regularly get screwed on new equipment and pay (we're rapidly returning to the days circa 1981 when a private E-1 with a family qualifies for welfare), and all of the new money being thrown around by Shrub is going to new toys for the field officers, not into basic infrastructure and maintenance. Since none of the chicken hawks ever saw what life was like on the ground, they gleefully buy into every Pentagon wet dream around. They don't forget to ask "So what do we need to get our enlisted personnel set to be the best we can get?"; they remember, but they simply don't care, because the grunts don't have the resources or the voice to make a difference. One last observation. Considering that the Army in particular is often the only hope for minorities and the poor to escape their situations and find a better life, you'd think that they'd vote Democrat more often. Unfortunately, the Armed Forces vote Republican not because of the chicken hawk cries, but because the Republicans are the only ones who pay any attention to the Forces, even if it consists of new toys for the generals. Democrats generally ignore the Forces except when absolutely unavoidable (which helps explain, in part, why you heard bitches about Clinton and not Bush), and all we'd need is a decent Democrat nominee in 2004 who planned to push for raises in enlisted and NCO pay to get a vast majority of Democratic Party support in the service. Unfortunately, so long as the Democrats cultivate those who want to pretend that war doesn't exist, rather than those who realize that a well-trained and well-treated army is essential to keep the peace if used when absolutely necessary, things won't change. Anyway, I hope this helps the debate. It's bad enough that military time doesn't count as far as most civilian employers are concerned. (I recently conducted a tech interview with a former Lieutenant Commander in the Navy who had moved to civilian life to pursue a tech career, and I was the first person he'd talked to in a job interview who recognized the rank outside of a "Star Trek" reference, much less knew how much responsibility he had to accept to get that rank. The problem was that while he was more than qualified for any number of positions, he was getting shot down because he didn't have that all-important MBA.) It's bad enough that the troops who remain get crapped on when Congressional budget time comes around. But when the main policies are dictated by slobs whose sole experience comes from watching war movies (look to Norman Schwartzkopf's biography about Dick Cheney quoting so extensively from Ken Burns' "The Civil War" that Norm almost quit because Cheney kept asking "What would McClellan do?"), I just wait until Beavis and Butt-Head push far enough that they lose the support of the military. That was Caligula's mistake, and look what it got him.
This just in: Jews not vampires after all The L.A. Times is reporting that Al Riyadh has issued a retraction of the infamous editorial accusing Jews of using the blood of Palestinian children in their holiday pastries. Although Sudairy said the article had slipped through the cracks and never should have been published, the fact that it appeared over a two-day period reflects the willingness of governments in this region to use the media as a safety valve for the deep animosity their people feel toward Israel and Jews. Al Riyadh is a privately owned paper, but there is censorship in Saudi Arabia, and there was no effort to block publication of the article. But it was all just a terrible misunderstanding. You see, the editor was out of town when the essay ran. As my friend Bob Harris notes, as a two-day series. In a government-censored newspaper.
More thoughtful feedback Under the subject line "Why Are You So Angry": I cannot believe how much hate you have for my President, my country and the American solder. Is your head so far up your ass that you don't realize they are terrorist groups that can and want to destroy our way of life, but assholes like you want to sit on there hands until its too late, and criticize the people who work hard. I cant believe what a little pussy you are. you sit on your fat ass and draw cartoons while real men are getting shot at trying to defend our freedom. Maybe you just need to get laid. I can't understand how you can criticize President Bush and have nothing bad to say about a man (Clinton) Who fucked this country over, I bet you support Gary Condit,hell you probably helped him hide the body. Its sad that you cant see injustice on you own side or will not stand against it. I guess for assholes like you Its not about right and wrong its about right and left. All you do is criticize,where are your ideas where are you solutions. Nowhere because dipshits like you don't have ideas or solutions, you are only smart enough to criticize. I hope you continue to piss on America, and i hope America kicks your ass. Yes, that's right. I never had an unkind word for Bill Clinton (a quick glance through the archives makes that clear!), and although I live in the City Most Likely to be Destroyed by a Suitcase Bomb at any Moment, I just didn't realize that--what was it--you say terrorists are after us? I'll be darned! I only wish I could learn to be as free of hate and anger as this man. His serenity is truly an inspiration to us all.
Do as they say, not as they did A couple more from Cursor this morning. (Maybe I should just shut down the blog and redirect my traffic over there--oh, but wait, then who would post pictures of my dog?) First, this summary of "America's home grown, draft dodging, non-military, super-patriotic cheerleaders for the president's 'war on terrorism'" (i.e. "Chicken Hawks"), by Bill Berkowitz. Berkowitz, in turn, links to an essay by William Rivers Pitt, which begins with the astonishing tale of those thwarted patriots and would-be warriors, Tom DeLay and Dan Quayle: In 1988, in a hotel lobby near the New Orleans-hosted Republican National Convention, Tom DeLay gave a press conference to defend the military service record of George Herbert Walker Bush's Vice Presidential pick, J. Danforth Quayle. The press had begun to auger in on the fact that Quayle had apparently used family influence to avoid serving in the Vietnam War, and had instead defended the bucolic splendor of Indiana from being overrun by the Cong as a member of the National Guard. DeLay did not bring up the awful confusion of those days. He did not speak of fear, nor did he mention loopholes created by influential family connections. Instead, DeLay offered what could go down as perhaps the most novel excuse for draft dodging ever spouted by an American in the entire history of the nation. Mr. Quayle was prevented from military service, claimed DeLay, because of all the minorities who had volunteered ahead of him. All the spots were gone when patriots like Quayle sought to serve, taken by ethnics seeking the excellent pay to be found in a life within the armed services. The members of the press who assembled to hear this remarkable explanation did not know that Mr. DeLay felt the slings and arrows raining down on Quayle in a most personal way. DeLay came of service age in 1970, but somehow found his way into the bug-killing business instead. The assumption that the communist-killing business had no purchase within him, however, was put to rest in that lobby. DeLay and Quayle wanted to serve, but the Negroes were just too fast for them. Never mind that the Houston Post claimed in 1988 that Delay avoided enlisting at the urging of his wife, yet another amazing excuse. For guys like Tom, it's always about the minorities at the head of the line. Pitt also notes: In this time of darkness and war, there has been much chest-thumping from conservatives regarding the true definition of patriotism. When Senators like Tom Daschle and John Kerry stand upon their constitutional duties and ask where this apparently rudderless war is headed, when they seek a definition of victory, when they wonder why Osama bin Laden has eluded capture, they are dunned as traitors by Republicans who claim to occupy the high moral ground. John Kerry served in Vietnam. He earned a Silver Star, a Bronze Star, and was three times awarded the Purple Heart for wounds received in battle. His detractors - Trent Lott, Dick Cheney, Dick Armey, George W. Bush, to name a few - avoided service in that conflict through deferments and powerful family contacts. There is ample evidence that Bush himself didn't bother to show up for the final year of his stint guarding the coastline of Texas from Viet Cong invasion. That these men dare impugn the patriotism and honor of a man like John Kerry bends the definition of hypocrisy into bold new shapes. Do not abuse yourself if some of this information is new to you. Do not let the fact that George W. Bush, Dick Armey, Dick Cheney, Bill Bennett, Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, Tom DeLay, Phil Gramm, Jack Kemp, Dan Quayle, Trent Lott, Pat Robertson, Ken Starr and George Will all managed to evade military duty, even if many of these men later lambasted Bill Clinton for the same offense. How could you know? These bullets were left mostly unfired in the last ten years of American political debate. On the same topic, you might want to check out the New Hampshire Gazette's Chicken Hawk database. I'd be curious to get some feedback on this from those of you in uniform. Are the men and women you serve with in any way troubled by this-- that so many of the politicians who are so eager to send you into harm's way did everything possible to avoid risking their own lives during the conflicts of their youth? I know I've got some clandestine readers on military bases and so forth, and I'm genuinely interested in your take on this--why was Bill Clinton so thoroughly reviled as a draft dodger, when the same epithet applies to a majority of Republicans currently in power? Why was Al Gore denounced for his cushy tour of duty, when George W. Bush used his connections to avoid going overseas altogether? In short: what's up with that? * * * Speaking of email: some of you have noted that the disclaimer above the email address seems intended to discourage correspondence--and I guess it is, to some degree, at least designed to discourage correspondence from idiots. But mainly, I'm just trying to make it clear that chances are I probably won't write you back, and I almost definitely won't have time to enter into an ongoing one-on-one debate with you. I just don't have time. But don't let that keep you from writing--just, please, don't be offended if you don't hear back from me. It's not you--it's me. -------------------- Tuesday, March 19, 2002
Historical precedent Reader Bill Greve reminds me this isn't the first time a rock and roll singer has met with a Republican president...  Of course, all Elvis was asking for was a Secret Service badge to add to his collection, if memory serves.
Poor Alfred  They're whoring the old boy out. And Bill Gaines is rolling in his grave. (Found this one on Cursor.)
Bono and George  From the Guardian of London (thanks to Bartcop for the link): It's a strategy that comes with risks. Is it possible to appear in public with the likes of Helms and Bush and preserve that precious commodity - street-cred? If it's not, says Bono, it's a price worth paying. "Edge was pleading with me not to hang out with the conservatives. He said, 'You're not going to have a picture with George Bush?' I said I'd have lunch with Satan if there was so much at stake. I have friends who won't speak to me because of Helms. But its very important not to play politics with this. Millions of lives are being lost for the stupidest of reasons: money. And not even very much money. So let's not play, Who are the good guys and who are the bad guys? Let's rely on the moral force of our arguments." * * * Bono has done his fair share of the old-style rock politics, helping Geldof with Live Aid and supporting Greenpeace and Amnesty International. But it was the Jubilee 2000 campaign - the simple, Biblical idea of cancelling third world debt for the millennium - that captured his imagination and set him on course to becoming a backroom powerbroker. * * * Meanwhile, the US wing of Jubilee 2000 hit on the idea of persuading the Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo, a Baptist, to write a letter to Baptist churches across southern US states explaining the Biblical principles behind debt cancellation. Suddenly, Bono found he had access to a swathe of strongly Christian Republicans compelled by his Biblical theme - what Bono calls "the melody line" of his pitch. "We knew we had to get both sides," he explains. "So we got Billy Graham and the Pope and I went to people like Jesse Helms, who had been very tough on the the concept of foreign assistance and very bleak on Aids. He's a religious man so I told him that 2103 verses of scripture pertain to the poor and Jesus speaks of judgment only once - and it's not about being gay or sexual morality, but about poverty. I quoted that verse of Matthew chapter 25: 'I was naked and you clothed me.' He was really moved. He was in tears. Later he told me he was ashamed of what he used to think about Aids." * * * Bush's announcement on foreign aid astonished development experts: they had already written the obituaries for Monterrey, the UN summit on development finance in Mexico which opens today, blaming US unilateralism for killing it off. But Bono, unlike many of the other development lobbyists in Washington, kept on going after the Republicans took over the White House. He was convinced, he told sceptical aid experts, that the Republicans were taking him seriously - and Bush's extraordinary testimony to Bono's influence was vindication. As the president put it in his speech: "Dick Cheney walked into the Oval office, he said, 'Jesse Helms wants us to listen to Bono's idea.'" The complete article is here.
Our friends the Saudis So let's see--fifteen of the nineteen homicidal hijackers were Saudis; much of the terrorists' funding comes from reactionary factions within the Saudi ruling family...and then there's that infamous editorial about those darned Jews and their fondness for human blood, from the Saudi government daily Al-Riyadh (an editorial which has been making the rounds in Blogistan lately, but I saw it on Ken Layne's site, and, you know, credit where due, and all of that). (And if there's something I'm missing on that last one, please let me know, but it looks legit to me.) And now that the crazy, left wing notion of increasing fuel efficiency has been defeated for the time being, by the likes of Trent Lott, who didn't want us all to have to transport our families around on Segways, or in Matchbox cars, or some damned thing (linking is fun!), it looks like we'll continue to hang around our good friends the Saudis, at whatever odd, out of the way and honestly not very fun parties they choose to take us to, and if they meet a girl and disappear on us at three in the morning, well, I guess we'll be walking home that night. Because with good friends like these, sometimes you have to make allowances.
Gosh, it's fun to share My recent comment about taking a small weekend road trip with my wife, on the occasion of our third wedding anniversary--a trip to New Jersey, incidentally--elicited this thoughtful response from someone using one of those conveniently disposable msn.com accounts: well hurray for you on your cashing of the check and going on holiday when there are people living outside your door in cardboard boxes perhaps a vietnam vet enjoy your trip punk It is strange at times, to be the cipher onto whom so many of these odd and disturbed individuals project their inner torment and bile--particularly in response to the damn blog which is not, as the more sane among you understand, exactly a paying gig. And then you start wondering: no one's really that crazy, right? This is just some goofball playing me, right? Who knows. The unfocused hatred of complete strangers is just something that comes along with this strange job I have. And anyway, I get more supportive and generous messages every day from you people out there than I think anyone has any right to expect, so I guess it all evens out, and then some. -------------------- Monday, March 18, 2002
No rest for the wicked Spent the whole weekend in front of the computer, trying to get a handle on this 240-page treasury that's due to be published late fall/early winter of this year. The book size is 8.5x11, which lends itself more easily to the standard straight-across newspaper strip than to my particular format, but after much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, I figured out a workable design solution which allows me to reprint two cartoons per page at a legible size (before, it was looking like I would have three cartoons per each two-page spread, but my fabulous design breakthrough will give you, the reader, an extra seventy or so cartoons, so everyone's a winner!) I've been grappling with this problem off and on for a couple of months, so trust me--figuring this one out is a big deal here at chez Tomorrow. The advances I earn on these books have gradually gone up over the years, but they're still laughably neglible--with all the time I put in, I probabably end up earning about twenty five cents an hour, once all is said and done. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But still. If, later in the year, I repeatedly and shamelessly urge you to buy the damn book, well, you'll have to forgive my hucksterism--it would just be nice if these books became something more than a wonderful, time-draining hobby--not unlike this blog...in fact, if everyone who reads this blog bought a copy of the treasury, I'd have a runaway best seller on my hands, and how cool would that be? Obscure left wing political cartoonist hits the New York Times bestseller list... Ah, dream on. It's a lousy, rainy day outside, and I'm feeling a little fuzzy this morning, in that way you get when you haven't been getting enough sleep and it feels like a cold virus has launched an assault on your body but hasn't quite won the battle yet. And it's Monday, and a new week's deadlines loom. So, chances are the blog is going to take a back seat for a few days. But all is not as dismal as I make it sound. Wednesday marks the third anniversary of my wedding, always a good occasion to pause and contemplate one's blessings. And next weekend, we're actually leaving the city for a couple of days, taking a small roadtrip, leaving the computer and the deadlines behind. This may not seem like much to you, but as busy as we've both been for the last couple of months, it is nothing short of a small miracle. --------------------
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