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July 29, 2005
Fox News explains it all to you
Apparently a guest on Fox News has suggested that the innocent man shot by London police may have been an al Qaeda decoy:
IT WOULDN'T BE OUT OF THE QUESTION FOR THEM TO PICK ON SOMEONE WHO MAY NOT BE MIDDLE EASTERN BUT WHO MAY LOOK MIDDLE EASTERN. SAY, SOMEONE WHO IS FROM SOUTH AMERICA, SOMEONE WHO IS FROM CENTRAL AMERICA, AND, SAY, YOU KNOW, WE KNOW THEY'RE RACIAL PROFILING US, SO WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO GET SOME PUBLIC OPINION ON OUR SIDE. LET'S DRESS THIS GUY UP, TELL HIM TO ACT SUSPICIOUS, AND IF THE POLICE APPROACH HIM, TELL HIM TO RUN AWAY, AND WHEN THE POLICE CATCH HIM, THEN HE APPEARS TO BE INNOCENT, SO, YOU KNOW, IN ESSENCE, THEY START SENDING OUT DECOYS. THEY CAN DO ALL KIND OF THINGS WHEN THEY KNOW THAT YOUR NET -- THAT YOU HAVE CAST A NET THAT'S THAT NARROW.
(Via Atrios.) There are times when I really don't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe next someone will suggest that the taxi driver known only as Dilawar tortured himself to death, to make the U.S. look bad.
In response to my call below for peculiar and perverse products, several readers have suggested the forthcoming comic--and guaranteed instant camp classic--Liberality:
It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11 It is up to an underground group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden's plans to nuke New York City ...And wake the world from an Orwellian nightmare of United Nations- dominated ultra-liberalism.
Don't miss the complete synopsis, which reads like Jonah Goldberg channelling Ed Wood. Coulter laws! Vice President Michael Moore! The Department of Political Correctness! Oh, the hilarity!
I myself can hardly wait.
July 28, 2005
Bob Herbert points out the obvious
Occasionally someone needs to:
You can run through all the wildly varying rationales for this war: the weapons of mass destruction (that were never found), the need to remove the unmitigated evil of Saddam (whom we had once cozied up to), the connection to Al Qaeda (which was bogus), and one of President Bush's favorites, the need to fight the terrorists "over there" so we won't have to fight them here at home.
You'd think it would be difficult to argue with the paper trail the neo's themselves left behind, pre-9/11, but the pro-war types always have a thoughtful rejoinder at hand--i.e., typing the word "oil" in all caps, repeating each letter multiple times. It's one of the automatic reflexes that passes for thought on that side of the ideological divide.
Perverse product of the week
Remember the end of the movie "Titanic," where the ship upended in the water and the passengers slid down the length of the deck to an icy death in the water below?
Well now you can relive the fun and excitement with your very own Titanic water slide!
(Photo via spam from a Chinese manufacturer of inflatable kiddy rides.)
* * *
I'm thinking that this should be a regular feature, so feel free to submit your own perverse products...
Update: apparently the Titanic water slide is old news to a lot of people. What can I say? Until last year, I was living in Brooklyn--didn't make it to a lot of water parks or state fairs...
Judy, Judy, Judy
Arianna has a theory:
Not everyone in the Times building is on the same page when it comes to Judy Miller. The official story the paper is sticking to is that Miller is a heroic martyr, sacrificing her freedom in the name of journalistic integrity.
Tangentially related cartoon here.
July 26, 2005
Journalism at its finest
Ice cream is apparently a popular treat in hot weather.
(Hat tip: August.)
...tangentially related cartoon here.
A note about Glox News
The point of the alien gibberish in the "crawl" was simply to capture the look of a newscast in a cartoon featuring two multi-tentacled alien creatures. I used what I thought would be an unreadable font which was, it turns out, not so unreadable. I confess to having typed in some stream of consciousness riff about Hannity and O'Reilly being morons and liars--but I wasn't really trying to pass along a secret message to the select few, I was just trying to come up with a plausible-looking string of alien word-shapes.
So to answer the two most common questions I'm receiving right now:
(1) The news logo behind the aliens translates as gibberish because it is gibberish; and
(2) Yes, apparently if you translate the crawl, I mistyped the word "moron" as "morpon."
And while I'm flattered that so many of you would take the time to figure that one out, I have to say, you're scaring me a little bit here, people.
July 25, 2005
Supporting the troops
The Bush administration's rallying call that America is a nation at war is increasingly ringing hollow to men and women in uniform, who argue in frustration that America is not a nation at war, but a nation with only its military at war.
...and then there's this:
In an interview, Douglas J. Feith, the under secretary of defense for policy, said that discussions had begun on a program to seek commitments from bankers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, electricians, plumbers and solid-waste disposal experts to deploy to conflict zones for months at a time on reconstruction assignments, to relieve pressure on the military.
I believe there are representatives of at least a few of those professions among the war's more prominent online advocates. And what good news for them--finally, they'll be able to really contribute something to the war effort!
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